Without : Wavering

Draft 4

It flowed from the hole in her arm. not pink this time. Red—It was serious.

It was serious, but not that serious. She might die, but either way she would live. —— “funny,” she thought (and also said).

“Ah, the King is awake.”

There was someone else there, she heard him. Someone she did not know. Someone she immediately disliked. She said “Fuck.”



The voice touched her ears, exercising her nervous system, and permeating her brain. but only the outer layer, she thought. (But did not say out loud.)

She looked around and saw the person, a blue, glowing blur. She couldn’t see properly. She was tethered to the land, not vicariously, but rather, quite directly.—The clay and sand, a place where an old tree had fallen and died and another had sprung up to take its place: A new tree—a new branch from the new tree had invaded her new arm. I am very new. I am only a youth. yet I am an adult, and the garden has shown its teeth. the branch is not truly new anyway; it’s near the bottom.

The pit she was in, where was her family? Where were they? Would they ever return for her? Or was she in God’s hands now.


“yes. the Fuck is talking to me.”


“is that all you know how to say? I know I’m assuming you are a fuck, but at least I’m being consistent. that’s why I capitalized your new and exciting title!”

The blue man seemed beyond confused, acting overtly be-wildered. Janna knew, she knew, she knew, she knew. I knew he was full of shit, even at that point. She knew that he only—seemed— bewildered for a reason. That; that little action, she knew, only proved what she knew because she knew. She said,

“I knew.”

At the exact same time that he said, “What?”

Although, she said it a little earlier. She said “I” and then a bit of “knew” before he said What. he said what with a capital, that pieca shit. But she was first. Janna Rhye is faster on the draw than Idiots.

“I knew,” she said for the third time, “I knew. look, you don’t have to be retarded about it.”

“What are you”
—she made sure to interrupt him.

“I’m being very precise here. very literal. look, I said my bit first, which means you’re slower than me. retarded means slower. don’t worry though, it’s not your fault. you probably just don’t know what’s What, which is why you capitalize the word like an Idiot.”

“How can you just treat me like that out of nowhere?”

“out of nowhere? look, I get you’re a little retarded, but don’t give me this out of nowhere nonsense. out of knoweare. do you know where we are? look.”

She blinked a few times, and then the Fuck came into clearer focus.

“Do you prefer Fuck, or Idiot?”

“Idiot. Wait”
—she made sure to interrupt him.

maybe you’re not as full of shit as you seem.

“look buddy.,” She interrupted.

He waited for her to finish, and then realized that she had.

“come on, you’re being slow again. keep up, man.”

“I am a god, not a man.”

Janna frowned. okay, maybe he is that bad. wow. “it’s pretty clear to me that you are not a god. I can tell, and my eyes aren’t even functioning properly.”

“How dare”
—she made sure to interrupt him.

how dare I. what a joker.
“tell me, you human glowstick, have you looked yet?”


again with the capital what. “I said, only moments ago, I told you what.” She sighed. “look buddy.” no need to be so slow on the draw man. you are a man, aren’t you?

Finally he realized what she meant.

“Look at what?”

Janna laughed, and then said, “I’m laughing at you, not with you.”

—she made sure to interrupt him.

“oh look, you can be interrupted even when you’re shouting. how noble the gods have become.”

As she spoke, he flared blue. Janna figured it was time to see her attacker. he was an attacker;  something of a con man. you’ll see.

“it’s funny how blind you are.” She wiped her eyes with her non-dominant, non-stabbed hand. She wondered if her right arm would ever be as strong as it was supposed to be, or if she would be permanently weakened.

“look,” She said again, her eyes still closed, fingers rubbing. She was without sight in front of an attacker. I don’t need to see him to understand him. She continued, “look. look. look. do you understand? you came here while I was weak. you came here when I had fallen and I was on the clock. perhaps, even, the death clock.” I have to see his face for this. She laughed internally, the laugh of feminine exuberance, luxuriance. But she laughed internally. She was in control.

She saw him, the artificially glowing man. She watched his Dumbass face turn to rage and resentment.

She said, “I’ve been telling you for, like, our entire conversation, but you just don’t see. look! I’m here, tangoing with nature, a dirge, a dance of death, and all you want to do is talk about the capital what and use my situation against me. kick a woman when she’s down. really fuckin’ classy, Dumbass.”

“HOW” —she interrupted him.

“yes, how dare you. I took the words right out of your mouth. get out of here before my family shows up and we dissect you in a court of law. who are you anyway? you know where I come from, you know what we call the gods there?” She didn’t wait. “servants. you know.  it’s what you are. you serve us, by your ignorance you serve us. if not now, certainly in your future, but likely even now by accident.”

the Dumbass Idiot approached. he moved with intent to kill, holding some sort of sharp, dumbass glowstick. I laughed at him, I lauged and grabbed his arm with my non-dominant. it worked. he was that weak.

“I’d spit in your face, but I’m sure my words have already done worse.” I grinned at him. he was the butt of his own joke. maybe I shouldn’t laugh. maybe he’s been the butt of a lot of jokes. however, he came to control me, and he attempted to murder. resentment and evil. a connection here can be found.

She broke his forearm in her vice and then pushed her thumb into his wrist, forcing it through the bundle of little bones.

“ah, you really are a man, aren’t you. leave me, or else I will bear witness. fill the cracks in with judicial granite.”

he left with haste. he left to lick his wounds and contemplate revenge. I know it, because we’re contending with it now. I’ll explain all that later, for now…

“Janna!” She watched her sister Chloe discover her, literally jump with excitement and then slip and fall, and tumble into the pit with her. it isn’t hard to tell who’s honest when you know what’s What. I made a bet that I knew, and this time, this time I was right.

“We tried to find you!” Chloe pushed her head out of the moss.

“I know.”

“We tried to find you, but we got distracted following, I think it was a blue light? It turned out to be a dagger, ah, Natasha has it.”

“oh; You were misled.”


“I’ll tell You when You’re older. You’re lacking certain…I’ll tell you when you’re an adult. But don’t forget the dagger, and don’t forget that it led you away from me.”

Chloe looked confused, but she said, “away from you? Yes, and while you were bleeding like! Oh no, it is red, it is red, your blood is red, it is not safe! Natasha!” She called out. Chloe knew first aid and biology and she began to work. “You will be fine, I know it.” she knows it. I think we both knew it.

“Natasha!” They both called out. They called for their sister, and they called for their family. it was practical…and cathartic.

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