Energy Drinks.

I’ll start this introduction off by saying that no one should really be drinking energy drinks. Now, I’ll end it by saying that I’m still a foolish young adult and so I drink energy drinks despite knowing that.

Why? Well, I’ll tell you why specifically at the end, but for now, here’s a rundown of the energy drinks I’ve used and how well they’ve worked.


Image result for rockstar energyRockstar is probably my least favourite, although I have a friend that drinks it almost exclusively. Rockstar has a slight crash but seems to give me zero extra energy despite being loaded with caffeine and sugar. The one thing Rockstar has over every single other brand I’ve tried is that it tastes good. Rockstar has really good flavours. But, if you’re drinking energy drinks for the taste you really should try pop or juice instead… Rockstar is the third biggest energy drink company by a large margin.


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Monster is the second largest energy drink, but only a bit. Monster seems to be a middle ground, a baseline energy drink. Gives a nice kick, and then four hours later it all comes back and you have to stop what you’re doing, maybe take a nap. I’ve used Monster a lot in the past, and even a bit now, but not so much. If you’re looking for a place to start, try Monster. If you like the jitters, try Monster. But if you want to be productive, well, keep reading.

Red Bull

Image result for red bullRed Bull is the big one, and for good reason. They’ve mobilized with a huge advertising campaign. They have dedicated Red Bull fridges in certain convenience stores. Red Bull is really trying to make you notice them. Should you? No, not really… unless you like energy drinks. Red Bull is my “productivity” energy drink. In fact, writing this now, I’m drinking one. My sleep was a bit wack last night, and I’ve been feeling really lazy when it came to writing. I needed a kick, and coffee wasn’t going to cut it, although I had one of those too.

Red Bull has a very light crash. Listen, I drove for seventeen hours broken only by a three hour nap, and drank 1.5L (that’s six of the little cans). It was a desperate time, I was in a rush driving halfway across the country. But I lived. Would never do it again, I don’t drink more than one can of any energy drink ever, except for that one time. Red Bull actually hits you weaker than Monster, surprising I know. But that’s actually a good thing. See, instead of feeling jittery and full of energy, you feel a slow burn, actual energy. Sort of.


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Guru is a strange creature. I didn’t even know it existed, and I doubt you did too. I can only seem to find it in the large grocery store. Here’s the think, its gimmick is that it’s all natural and organic. What? What edgy energy drink consumer cares about that? Well, I decided to try it. It tastes pretty okay for an energy drink, and even better it peaks higher and longer than Red Bull. You get that slow burn, but also some actual energy too. I like Guru, and I might switch from Red Bull. It has a slightly larger crash though, but it’s not really an issue. Check it out if you like Red Bull, or are looking for something… organic.


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Coffee? Yeah well, I decided to give the classic a try too. Coffee is actually the most like Red Bull. It keeps you from being tired, but it doesn’t really keep you awake. It’s like, preventative. But let’s get real here, Coffee has the same amount of caffeine as energy drinks, about 100+ mg. Some types of coffee have double! At the end of the day caffeine is what’s keeping you up, alright? The other stuff is put in for big numbers. They haven’t bothered to actually test if it actually keeps you awake, I’m not joking, google it.

At the end of the day, I really should switch to coffee or tea, but like I said, I’m still young. Gotta stay as edgy as possible, right? And what’s more edgy than consuming chemicals out of a black and green can? Nothing!


So, Red Bull is my go to if I want to get stuff done. Monster more if I want to play video games. Don’t drink more than one, it says that on the can, and you get diminishing returns, trust me. And, at some point you might consider coffee or tea, it does the same stuff, but it’s not full of literally random chemicals for no reason. Seriously.

Check out some of my fiction! Or maybe an older quality piece? Oh, you don’t like stories? Well, I made a post about how I put mayonnaise in my computer, if that interests you…

Daniel Triumph.





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